Core Commitment?

As I was browsing on Youtube for something productive to watch, I found a Teal Swan video talking about core commitment.

Long story short, she advises you to close your eyes and ask yourself without any bias what is your unconscious commitment. A principle you base your decisions on unknowingly. She explain ths concept very well in her video for those interested further.

{Video linked here}

Given I’ve been struggling with accepting a lot of things in my life, I decided not to think and just ask as if a blank slate. For a minute or so: Nothing. Nothing came to mind. But after repeating the question a few times to myself, a familiar feeling of rebellion lit up inside me and I’d describe following key words best as Rebellion and Autonomy. 

Now thinking about it, this reigns true. To most things externally advised or guided, my first reaction is the need to push back and fight against it as if whatever is coming in externally is threathening my personal autonomy and wants to subjugate me. In most cases I give myself time to process it and get past initial urge to argue. But it’s very difficult and I am still second-guessing even if I’ve externally “gone with the flow”.

School is one of those issues. Given it was urged by external sources that I go back to school. And that’s a big problem because rationally I want to finish this. 

Teal did say once we are conscious of our core commitment, we can reflect better on our past decision and decide if we want to change things up or align with that commitment knowingly. 

I honestly do feel lost on what sort of changes should I make to not feel internally threathened by anything coming from outside. Because I know what I want to consciously commit to. 

For anyone who are questioning themselves, I really do recommend that video! It gives a good method to clear some fog out of the way and put your own self into perspective.

Cheers and have a Clear day!

-Ann