Hello once again! There has been a lot of time to reflect lately while I go out and do my internship hours, then come back home and work on my lifestyle (weight management, working out, and reading enough for school, not to mention cleaning a bit each day). Sometimes I fall off the wagon for about a day or so, then I get back on it.
What have fallen (knowingly) to the side are my creative pursuits. I think daily about how I want to grow and inspire pragmatism within myself. A kind of no-nonsense attitude that has become gradually more and more easy to maintain. It makes life exciting. But sometimes I miss prioritizing drawing and/or drumming. Those two hobbies have been personally significant and I still sometimes wonder about the career possibilities they entail. But what I also know about myself now, is that if I do something, I want to stomp my foot down to the gas pedal and not lift it until it has substantially changed my life.
And thus, I am keeping drawing and drumming on the side. My foot is currently on the ‘construction finisher’ pedal and it is invigorating. I’m not burying the prospects of seriously pursuing an illustrator’s or a drummer’s path in the future, but for now those ponderings are something I’ve learned to keep mild. Otherwise I would just overwhelm myself. Still, I sometimes draw for leisure, now without beating myself up for not doing it consistently often. I can give you a sneak of my last finished ones so all this rambling won’t sound entirely ambigious, haha.
Honestly, I am happy like this! I am so glad that I am not mentally like (as we say in Estonian) “a headless chicken running around,” stuck between dozens of half-baked but potent possibilities, indecisive and overwhelmed. I’ve been like that my whole life. I’ve envied, and later unabashedly admired people who did not let themselves get distracted from their chosen paths! It’s truly inspiring. My partner is one of those pragmatic people who is very consistent even while pondering about the future. That has served as a very helpful guideline for me.
So perhaps it’s actually better that I currently practice self-discipline on a pragmatic area as much as possible, so once I do take on a creative path, I will have the lasting determination for it. Right now, in charge of my own internship hours for 3 more weeks I feel self-accountability being a weak spot. It’s not the easiest to motivate myself when no one else is affected by my dos or donts. And in a creative business I imagine that is exactly how you carve your path – Yourself, by your own time, keeping yourself accountable.
Still, life as it is right now, full of exciting challenges and many lessons, it keeps on being invigorating and inspiring!
With that, I’m signing off~
Have a Great day and Until next time!
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