Setting One’s Expectations too High


I am sure most of you have heard of success-oriented mindsets and setting goals. Also accompanied by setting your expectations. But there is also a very tangible flipside I want to focus on today. What if you set expectations too high for yourself?

A little bit about what made me think of this. Right now I’ve been working as a construction painter for almost three months and the first two were especially effort-demanding to get used to. Since my partner is working at sea, I’m currently managing the household, our cat, etc. on my own.

Within the summer timeframe, I expected to adjust to the following things:

  • Get my sleep in order (minimum 7,5h a night)
  • Get content with my working schedule
  • Pick up my nutrition plan again and cook consistently
  • Clean/do chores diligently
  • Practice hobby daily (in this case drums)

Out of all of those, I’ve gotten the first two handled. The rest is very inconsistent and always on the back of my mind. Until a few days ago I didn’t even know I was that bugged by my own inconsistency until conversing with a trusted friend and accidentally hitting a nerve within.

As per usual to us, we decided to discuss until we could find the root of the complicated feelings that had been gradually building up. Restlessness, guilt, shame, confusion. It all came down to the fact that I did not want to disappoint anyone, and by inclusion, myself.

Around me are wonderful people who have their routines set, they manage the daily business of life aside a full-time job, and they have a natural cleanliness streak. I look up to these people (Especially for the cleanliness streak).

My natural style of living has been Organized Chaos – things seem in huge disarray but I can find everything without a fault. Also, there has been little need for long-term consistency on the level I strive to currently have it.

Somehow, summer is ending and I realized I am not as organized with my routine as I intended by now. And that made me be really tough on myself, also feeling a sense of shame towards my peers, as if I’ve failed them as well.

I have not yet figured out how to lower my expectations without feeling like my productivity would suffer. It’s going to be a difficult thing to achieve, but eventually it has got to smoothen out!

Right now, there’s a sentence ringing in my head that my mother has repeated to me over and over every time she caught me close to burning myself out:

One thing at a time.

I’ll try that (once again), and I will update. I will try to just focus on getting one thing done before mentally listing off other duties I could be doing. This is just a small stumble I’m having before progressing.

Otherwise, I have to say in other aspects I am very happy with the last months. Most of the summer I’ve felt content and joyous, feeling that the people around me grace me with the highest quality of time. Now it’s time to make sure, step by step, that my me-time will eventually get better.

Thank You for reading and Have an Amazing Day!

Until next Time


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