Driving School and Priorities

Hello!

 

So I have some news – I completed my first theory lesson in driving school this week! Still haven’t driven yet, due to the flu season catching me. I’ll be honest, getting a driving license has never been a priority of mine, most likely because I grew up without a car in the family. What made me invest in it though, is the rationalization that I will need it (construction finisher work is very mobile) in the upcoming future. Also since I have finished my education for the foreplanned future, it gives a bit more structure to my life.  So I jumped the gun and signed up, same as I did with my profession 1 year ago.

 

Lately it really does feel like my approach is less “I have this planned out to the minute detail and I’m keeping at it” and more of “I don’t know if this really correlates with my soul but I need to do something challenging and this is a pretty responsible choice”. So by now I am fairly cautious with my plans, anticipating that my things and priorities can change too easily and rapidly.

 

In the past it worked because I chased short-term goals almost exclusively and felt really satisfied with it. Now, for the majority I am chasing long-term goals as they seem to yield me the best progress and sense of satisfaction. Also if you’re living not only for your own quality of life but another human being’s as well (my partner), then short-term goals with plenty of room for spontaenity don’t really cut it. Not entirely.

 

Although fever forced me home from work since Wednesday, I’m already slightly stir-crazy. While I have progressed a lot within a year, the feeling is more in the grey area than ever. What do I truly want? Am I willing to put the energy in to get it? Where is the balance between work and play? I have been neglecting the “play,” now I’ve had a bit of time to muse on it. I do feel I have potential for more, but figuring out where is a step-by step progress.

 

From running that 10K race I felt an immense sense of accomplishment, satisfaction, and rest. Reasons why I think I’m definitely the “active vacationer” type. Running falls into the “play” category for me because I’m doing it solely for self-fulfillment. So naturally I set a goal for winter to seek a similar high. One of the easiest on my list right now.

 

From driving school, studying, I feel absolutely fulfilled mentally, I love studying. I really love it. What makes me nervous is the driving action, the real-time motion and sense of sharpness. I can never accurately predict my proficiency in those things. Exactly same with my job, but all the more of a challenge to take up then. I have no idea yet how to reconcile my yearning for challenges with turning to pursue things I am initially debilitatingly weak at.  In such sense, it’s been a very transformative year. I don’t play on my strenghts almost at all but seek out my own weaknesses instead. Not an approach I’ve taken before I started construction school. Brings out lots of hidden emotions. Lots more to work through.

 

Now some may question why have I not mentioned drumming anywhere yet, or art, or writing. There is a very big reason for that, and it stems from a conversation I had with my best friend. I’ll elaborate on that back-to-back. So for today, do expect another post pretty soon right after this one~! With that I’m signing off!

 

Have an Awesome day and until Next time!

-Ann