Dreaming and Telling

Hello!

Lately I’ve been reflecting about my dreams and goals even more. The setbacks and dips in motivation I’ve experienced have been a jarring and sobering experience.

I have never fully understood the notion of not sharing your plans and goals, of wanting to keep them to yourself. Talking about them always gave me fuel and motivation without exceptions. But after my last post here, made at the height of tension, time has passed. With the wedding, things have been discussed further and I’m starting to really enjoy the administrative side of making inquires. Especially knowing we have time and a rough estimate on our expenses.

With that there has been a rekindling fire with my goals and dreams instead of the dejection I last lamented about. But explainging them explictly… The tweak of plans I do, to go with the flow, to keep them but adjust them, that does not stoke that fire much. At least not explaining the whole set, the dream of one day being 33 years old and ready to tell myself my job is a choice, how I’m gonna get to that point, what comes after.

Condensing it down makes it sound like an impulse driven fever dream, especially given my history of getting inspired by the most mundane things for a short period. But to me, this is a dream of a dream. It is the security to afford myself the luxury of impulse without jeopardizing the journey I am on and those that are on it with me.

I have gone back to every-other-day research about investing and the Baltic stock market. With it, I want to keep the small details mainly to myself. I don’t want to tell, I want to show! And it’ll take time. Years of time. And taking in the beauty of tweaking and adjusting changing plans (instead of shelving them) is something very novel to me right now! I have literally shelved almost finished book manuscripts because I don’t see them as something I’d read anymore. If I am going to write eventually, I want to write something I’d like to read. Every cornestone, every bump in the road and unexpected halt is a great fuel for the future on that front as well! If my road to my dreams were on the straight and narrow, it would be relatively boring. Maybe reading books about the difficult journeys of the protagonist has paid off in this kind of way, to make my own a bit easier.

Not much has actually changed aside perspective, a bit more talking and a bit less talking. But maybe that’s all that’s needed for now.

In other aspects, I’ve committed to my weightlifitng regime and also completed my first 7km race of the season! Not placing but still proud!

Health wise I honestly feel absolutely incredible! Actually, I feel at ease by default lately, I’ll be experimenting with my current perspective and with that I’ll be signing off.

Have a Great Day!

-Ann

Currently playing: Studzianki