Hey everyone! Just a little bit of musings…
Sometimes I get anxious over the the most silly things really. I’d like to say I’m overworrying by nature, but I wouldn’t like to affirm that to myself.
Lately I’ve been filling up my free time with anything really. Coding, learning electroswing (hello roaring 20s?), cooking even cause I am honestly bored. It’s less than a week before my best friend and also my fiance arrive back to the city and the wait is most frustrating during this last stretch.
Usually during these times my vulnerabilities surface more. You wouldn’t say looking at me that I’m socially anxious but a lot of things I take on are preceeded by overworrying. I usually need to talk out loud to clear my head and set my plans straight, solve my problems. Otherwise it continues to be a messy loop in my head that just gets worse. Being apart from really close people I guess has made me more prone to so-called word vomit to perhaps people who really are not that interested.
If I feel like I’m overstepping, it’s a thought that consumes me and leads me to isolate myself for periods of time, usually finding something productive to do and learn. Right now I feel this feeling building up again, wanting to just socially isolate myself away, but this time I decided to write before it happens. It’s also a moment of self-reflection and basically a restart. So it’s not entirely a bad thing. But it is a thing.
Last week stress came to a point I went through a very frustrating bout of insomnia. That one is luckily solved, even though I still prefer around 5-6 hours of sleep which is too little. Now this self-isolation will be a minor follow-up and I think I will be peachy again by next week. Sometimes you just know your own signs.
But about electroswing, I will write about it later at some point as I make a bit more progress with the lessons! The goals I have, I’m all well on track with those so that keeps me grounded.
Thank you for reading!
Have a Great Day~
Listening to: Jamie Berry ft. Octavia Rose – Delight
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