After having RJ and well, gracefully aging from young-adult to just adult, I’ve been internally debating so many things. One of those things is the value of education. So our country has this system, middle school is up to 9th grade, this is the mandatory part. After that you can go to secondary school or vocational education. After that, it’s either university for a Bachelor’s degree or vocational education from a secondary school base. The last option means you will only be studying for the vocation so you don’t have to retake any subjects you already have.
So far I’ve finished secondary school and dropped out of Cultural Heritage and Conservation Bachelor’s. Why did I drop out? I realized very late in the game that the salary I was getting for my part time job as a gift-wrapper was higher than my future salary as a specialist would be. Sadly I was wrapped in an MLM during that time which influenced me to be especially impulsive with the decision.
During that time my interest in finances awakened. I read a lot of books but I was still searching for a shortcut to good pay. I’ve always been a frugal person so my standards for “good” weren’t very high. I lived in a dorm basement, renting a 17m2 art studio. Actually my now Husband is who pushed me to seek more options after I was happy and settled with gift-wrapping and doing basically nothing else. During the time I had a lot of issues with the process because I had a lot of baggage.
(Disclaimer, this part might be a bit raw) From the get-go, in middle school I put myself into a “humanitarian” box even though I was good at math and chemistry, even physics when I focused. But I shied away from touching anything concerning technology. Why? At home, my step-father had a disdain for this generation’s use and dependence on technology. It’s only now, years later with counseling and constant mental work that I’m losing this inner need to walk on egg-shells about anything tech-related. I’m still bitter. It’s a hard process separating what I want and what I was conditioned to lean into.
I tend to ask myself often why did I shoot myself in the foot in secondary school and didn’t focus on math. I did not realize the value of a good math exam until well… lately. On one hand, my parents couldn’t have known in any way how prevalent and easy-access technology would be nowadays. And on the other hand, also stoking out any flames of wanting to be professional in a creative medium because it doesn’t pay well. They couldn’t have known if I focused on honing my digital art skills I could’ve been doing commissions. I understand their reasons, but I don’t agree with their methods.
A lot was also my naivety. I did in no way realize how long-term effort helps in many things in life. School was easy for me, I had a good memory so I cruised through without too much effort. I was cruising pretty well in uni because I had interest in my chosen major. The MLM strangely had one positive effect of challenging my way of life so far. But in all fairness, nothing else was positive about it, eventually I cut my losses and moved on, realizing unless I want to be really exploitative, there won’t be a shortcut to wealth and a comfy lifestyle.
After that I tried to snatch a non-seasonal job with guiding but fell short. So I went to become a construction finisher with vocational education. That worked well, finished the education, until 6 months into the job I had burnout from all the overtime since the company couldn’t manage their project volume and kept taking on new ones. It was pissed off clients after one another. My boss ghosted me but at least paid the salary I was owed.
Since by this time I was already thinking of a future baby and wanted something stable, I found a job as a sports’ center and spa administrator. The time I was working there, I managed to do side jobs in the company (pool guard, gift card sales at events) and it was great. I managed to up my pay and conditions so much, by now my maternity leave pay is definitely comfortable.
I also got into investing, Husband took me to his finance lectures (snuck me in literally). It stoked a big interest and right now investing is a hobby I’ve had for about 3 years. I also started to get curious about programming and IT. Doing some basic courses, I realized I actually had interest in it. The pay for entry level wouldn’t be bad either. Also, I finally buried my artistic ambitions in the professional sense. Maybe when my kid(s) are all grown up and I’m truly financially stable, I’ll be able to return to them eventually.
At about 24 years of age, I really realized that long-term goals and effort is the way to goq. I didn’t get into vocational school for web development at that time but maybe it was better because I got pregnant about 2 months later. After RJ was born, I started driving school again (during pregnancy COVID restrictions got in the way). After much frustration I got my license this August. Now I’m doing a MOOC from Helsinki about Java programming, hoping to get into vocational school for IT next year when RJ goes to kindergarten.
In theory, I should’ve known right after middle school what I wanted and focused on my secondary school exams accordingly. But looking back, having written all this out, there’s no way I could’ve known 10 years ago I’d want to go into IT and that I love topics about investing and finances. There have been so many choices made during that time and my life direction basically zig-zagged. It’s only the last three years I’ve stuck to something.
A part of me thinks I’ve lost lots of time but I just did not have the sense of reality about the world I currently have. When I had been more impulsive, I still had enough baggage to keep me from taking full leaps of faiths that maybe could’ve paid off like in so many success stories. So much self-doubt and anxiety in the past. And there’s so much to still think about for the future.
Thanks for reading this long musing, I’ll be signing off from here.
Have a good day!
-Ann
Listening to: Sabaton
One Day at a Time 
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