I have a pattern with tiktok. Usually I download it when I’m feeling low. I scroll for 2 days nonstop, feel way worse, uninstall. Repeat .
This time I thought to curate my For You Page. Intentionally searching out more fan content (books, shows), liking cottagecore, farming and gardening posts, searching gym tags. It worked for half a day before my page was back to assuming I have ADHD, motherhood venting and for some reason idyllic childfree posts?? I guess because anything to do with parenthood made me stop scrolling because, well, I am a parent. The content being inherently critical over traditional family dynamics and highlighting the mother’s mental workload with the smallest of things made get very irritated in real life over yes, the smallest of things.
Within three days I felt as if I hated my life, even though a week ago I felt precariously balanced. I admit, when I’m not controlling myself, I’m very easily influenced. I can easily project situations into my life that are not at all relevant. Sceptisism has come with experience. Tiktok’s precise algorithm does a great job selecting things I pause at for longer (mostly to read comments). It’s too good. No other social media deteriorates my emotional well-being faster than this one.
So today morning I uninstalled again. Hopefully for good. Instead I filled the day with studying, cooking and taking care of my repotted cucumbers.
I still don’t watch news anymore. My mental health can’t take it. I got tired of astrology videos (also oversaturated from Tiktok). Monday to Thursday are very busy filled out days in our schedule, but Friday and Sunday I hit the gym. Hoping to incorporate some home pilates on Wednesdays. I read pilates should be really good, but I haven’t tried it yet. So lets see.
I’ll be planting some berries and cat grass as well, hopefully tomorrow. With that I’ll ending this post for now.
Thanks for reading, I hope you’ll have a nice day.
Listening to: Thumbs – Sabrina Carpenter
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