In-between speculations

Hello!

Some time has passed yet again but the new thoughts won’t stop coming in.

As a general update, been off sugar for 12 days now, going strong, and progressing with strenght training. I ran as well but that brought me the realization I have neglected it, so striving to do so more. I’m signed for events after all, and currently I feel fairly mixed about them.

I get stuck in my head often. Very often. And lately I have a niggling tendency to want to isolate myself at times. I’m keeping it at bay with making daily to-do lists for myself and talking it out with close people around me. It all helps but there’s still a feeling of being slightly lost.

Temptations to go back to old hobbies and a sense of yearning for the past. Even though at the end of the night I go to sleep satisfied, the mind still wants to debate with itself during the day. It makes me wonder about people. How much thought do they put in daily? Do they struggle with small things or do they go with whatever happens? How much do people worry?

That kind of struggle actually makes the experience of life beautiful in my eyes, but that generally in retrospect. I have a feeling where I have cemented my fundamental goals and habits, actions, but now it’s the time to stand my ground. There are a lot of environmental influences, people being talented, spectacular, inspiring. Also people who clash and on some fronts can’t agree with eachother, but still play a part in your life despite the clash.

I think that kind of mediation and coexisting is my current challenge. People are very complicated, and it’s interesting to see that. Sometimes hard to stomach, but I think I’m coming to terms with the fact this is how life is.

A lot of things have gotten better, so in the end of the day, everything is okay. But still, there’s a lot to speculate about.

Have a great Day!

-Ann